I have been accused, many times in my 35 years of life, of being angry, venomous, vitriolic. Frankly these accusations don't much bother me, because, well...more often than not, they're right.
Lately, it seems, I have been suffering through enough highs and lows to make me wonder if I am becoming bi-polar in my middle years.
With that in mind, I'm devoting this column to...
Things I love.
And... Things I hate.
I love breathing the air at dawn on a cool Spring morning.
I hate allergy attacks.
I love the smell of brand-new black and white trade paperbacks.
I hate the computer pixels visible if you look closely enough at Daredevil Visionaries: Frank Miller Volume Two.
I love breakfast foods -- eggs, waffles, pancakes, hash browns.
I hate the effect they have on my blood sugar -- come to think of it, I hate being diabetic at all.
I love my two children, the joy of life they possess and the superhuman energy they seem to funnel in from out of the ether.
I hate the way their teachers try to make it seem as if being excited about life and wanting to see and do it all is a bad impulse that needs to be supressed, or even medicated.
I love the fact that NYPD Blue is better this season than it's been in a good long time.
I hate the fact that two of its best actors, James McDaniel and Kim Delaney, are gone after this season.
I love the local Hannaford Supermarket, where the cashiers are friendly, I can find my way around the store, and they actually carry decent whole grain breads.
I hate the way some old people ignore the "10 Items or Less" sign at the express aisle, as if it doesn't apply to them, and someday I'm gonna clock one of them. And unbelievably, I'll be the one to go to jail!
I love Walter Simonson's Orion, and will buy it for the rest of my life if he keeps doing it.
I hate the short-sighted cancellation of Deadenders, which had the potential to become one of the best comics in the history of the artform if it hadn't been cut short. If DC does this to Orion, I may very well drop all DC titles from my pull list forever.
I love the fact that Marvel is planning to increase its output of trade paperback collections.
I hate the fact that many recent ones have been plagued with bad reproduction and printing errors, including Avengers: Ultron Unlimited, Thor Visionaries: Walter Simonson, and Daredevil Visionaries: Frank Miller Volume Two.
I love the music of James Kochalka, especially the songs Monkey vs. Robot, Hockey Monkey, and It's My Dink (Magic Finger).
I hate the fact that I had to miss his last live performance across the border in Vermont because it snowed that night.
I love pawing through the quarter bins to see if any good comics I missed a few months back have been given up on by the comics shop.
I hate the inch-thick layer of dust I have to wash from my hands after pawing through the quarter bins.
I love Babylon 5, and despite its flaws think it's one of the best dramatic series ever presented in the history of television.
I hate Rising Stars, and the fact that Image foisted lousy artists on it for half of its run. Now that good artists are coming on, I'm way past the point of caring.
I love the artwork of Bryan Hitch and Paul Neary, and Frank Quitely.
I hate the fact that DC wasn't smart enough to recognize great work when they were getting it, and let some of their best artists leave.
I love driving to work at 3 o'clock in the morning, when there's little competition on the interstate.
I hate having to go to bed at 7 o'clock every night in order to be able to get up and go to work at 3 o'clock the next morning.
I love just about anything by James Kochalka, Tom Tomorrow, Walter Simonson, Barry Windsor-Smith, Hunter S. Thompson, Kurt Busiek, Los Bros. Hernandez, R. Crumb, Tony Millionaire, Warren Ellis, and Erik Larsen.
I hate the fact that I'll never experience new material from Jack Kirby, Gil Kane, Don Newton, Harvey Kurtzman, John Lennon, Kurt Cobain, Freddie Mercury, Sam Kinison, or Frank Zappa ever again.
I love my wife.
I hate the fact that I am so stupid that our anniversary and Mother's Day are exactly one week apart.
To quote one of the great thinkers of the 20th Century...d'oh!