Planetary/JLA: Terra Occulta
By Warren Ellis, Jerry Ordway and David Baron
Published by DC/Wildstorm
Over the course of its dozen-plus issues, the currently-on-hiatus-for-no-real-good-reason Planetary featured complex protagonists doing interesting things and working their way through fascinating plots. Elijah Snow, the main character of the book, is one of the best characters in comics and certainly one of the best, most unique that Warren Ellis has ever created. Why, I don't even think he smokes!
So that's why Planetary/JLA is such a disappointment. For no good reason, Ellis takes the Planetary gang -- even the little-seen but highly-interesting Ambrose Chase -- and turns them into one-dimensional baddies even less interesting than "The Four," the villains from Planetary whose role they assume in the story here.
In this story, Elijah, Jakita, the Drummer and Chase have changed the world by covertly stealing new technology (mechanical and biological) and apparently using it for profit, while amassing a collection of secret information and the corpses of superbeings like Hal Jordan, Swamp Thing, Cyborg and many others. They've been monitoring this world's Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent and Diana Prince in case they got uppity with their superpowers, and Wayne's investigations lead to a direct confrontation on The Watchtower, Planetary's moon-based headquarters. Only the Drummer isn't involved, because -- and someone had to point this out to me -- the Drummer just disappears from the story after a cameo in the first few pages. It's a striking story flaw to have one of your main character just drop off the canvas like this, suggesting Warren is as uninterested in his story as I was after finishing it.
So we have the Chinese Menu approach to an Elseworlds tale. One from Column A, one from Column B. But there's precious little fiber in this concoction, with only Bruce and Diana getting any real character development at all. Ellis apparently feels contempt for superheroes, and that's fine, although I think it's misplaced antagonism more rightly directed at provincial fanboys unwilling to dip their toes into any pool that isn't filled with superhero piss. Lots of wonderful stories have been and will be told about superheroes, but instead Ellis goes all "What Iffy" on us and gives us cardboard villains -- Elijah and Co. -- battling barely interesting protagonists...dot dot dot...battle...dot dot dot...everybody dies except one or two of them...dot dot dot...the end, true believer. Elseworlds! Who needs a story? Who needs a theme? What If, baby!
The shame of it is, Ellis shits all over his truly interesting characters -- Planetary -- in a book with absolutely gorgeous illustration from artist Jerry Ordway and colourist David Baron. If there had been a compelling motive for Snow and Company's actions, or even more creatively responsible, a Planetary recognizable in some way as the folks we know -- this could have been a nuanced, adult take on superhero comics. But...dot dot dot...no. The shame of it is, I love Planetary and I love Ordway's art, and I certainly had faith that this would be a terrific, entertaining comic.
Elijah Snow's speech at the end reminds me of Ellis's increasingly tiresome public persona; "Can you imagine what it'd be like, giving the little people access to all this glory? Of course you can. They'd waste it like they waste everything." Ellis seems to be saying you're not smart enough to appreciate how cool he and his coterie of ball-lickers on the Warren Ellis Forum are. "If I can't have comics all to myself, I'll destroy them so you 'little people' can't have them either." His snide approach to his readers would be so much more palatable if he was doing the fucking work. His name might be in the credits of this issue, but the paper-thin plot and utter lack of character development or motivation indict this work as phoned in, Ellis "taking the piss," as they say in Texas.
If Ellis truly wants to destroy superhero comics, empty, hollow, pretty trash like Planetary/JLA is a good start. And if he wants to make people even less interested in the coming re-launch of Planetary, hey, job well done there, too. Grade: 2.5/5